Tank 'n Spank
by Kaijo
Summary: Arisa invites some of her friends over to beta test her company's new MMORPG...


**Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha**

**Tank 'n Spank**

Xx~~*~~xX

"Okay, I think I'm logged on now, Arisa," Fate told her, trying to get used to these older types of computers.

The short-haired blonde looked up from her seat. "Alright, good! I think that makes everyone, then. Now, you should all see your character on the screen; we've prepared a high level character for each of you, that is pretty close to how you are used to fighting. Just use the mouse to move, and click on a monster to fight it."

"Is that what this thing is?" Vita asked, holding up a small object in her hands.

Arisa nodded. "Yep! You can click on abilities to use them, too. You should see the icons on your screen. And I want to thank you all again, for volunteering to help my family's company test this MMORPG we're developing."

"It's not problem, Arisa-chan!" Nanoha told her happily, clicking away.

Arisa glanced down at her checksheet. "Alright, I think we've got all classes represented. Just so everyone knows, Nanoha is using a Ranger, Fate has a Rogue, Vita has a Warrior, Hayate has a Dark Mage, Signum-"

"I think there is a problem," Signum interrupted her, frowning. "I appear to be unable to load cartridges into my sword, nor can I fly."

"You're using an Arcane Fencer, Signum," Suzuka told her. "You use your spells to enchant your sword. And our characters don't use cartridges, nor can they fly."

The Wolkenritter warrior raised an eyebrow. "And yet you say this world has magic? If I can swing a sword and use magic, I should be able to fly."

"Um, it's game balance," Arisa explained, sweating.

"At least you have magic," Vita grumbled. "I don't have any. Just a large hammer."

"As I said, we tried to tune each character to you, so you'd get the best feel for them," Arisa explained again. "Just explore the environments, attacking creatures and trying quests. PvP is also enabled so you can fight each other if you want, too."

Vita grinned evilly. "Ah ha, I think I see Nanoha's character! I challenge you to a... hey, why am I dead? I couldn't even get close, and she took me out with one shot!"

"That was fun!" Nanoha declared happily.

"You'll have to be more subtle, Vita," Suzuka told her. "Nanoha is playing a Ranger, so she can attack from a distance with her gun."

Vita grumbled as her character respawned. "That hardly seems fair."

"I have a question," Yuuno declared. "I can't seem to find any attack spells on my character."

"You're using a priest, Yuuno," Arisa explained. "They heal and buff other characters. We figured it fit your style the best."

"No attack spells?" the librarian complained, then grumbled. "But Shamal has attack spells and is using a priest, too!"

"I've got a dark priest!" Shamal declared, giddy. "I can drain magic and life!"

"I see you, Signum!" Fate declared evilly.

The other woman raised and eyebrow. "Where? All I see are trees, deer, and... Hey! You appeared out of nowhere and I can't even fight back! I think my character is broken."

"Really?" Arisa asked, coming over to take a look. "Oh, no, that's just the Rogue's abilities; she has you stun-locked. Don't worry, it should wear off before you're dead."

"But now she's running away and I can't catch her!" Signum protested. "Yuuno, would you heal me up so I can go after her?"

"I can't, I'm busy trying to kill a deer at the moment," Yuuno replied in frustration.

"Hey, I'm dead again!" Vita whined, then frowned as Nanoha giggled. "Stop that!"

"I'll help you, Signum," Hayate declared. "Where are you?"

Signum brought up her map. "I just went into Elfish Forest after her."

Hayate made a few clicks. "Eflish forest, hmm, let me try this... I think I got her!"

"Hayate!" Fate complained. "How was I supposed to dodge that!"

"I think you got me, too, Hayate," Signum stated flatly. "In fact, I think you hit the entire zone."

Hayate sweated. "Sorry! Didn't think the spell had that big of a range..."

"NANOHA!" Vita cursed.

"Sorry!" the other woman offered, hunching down in her seat.

Vita mumbled something about overpowered Rangers.

Arisa sweated. "Um, PvP isn't all there is to this, you should try some quests."

"Hmm, that sounds like fun," Nanoha decided. "Yuuno, want to try one?"

"Sure, right after I kill this deer," Yuuno replied in an increasingly agitated voice.

"Alright, in the meantime..." Nanoha trailed off mysteriously.

"Hey, I can't move!" Fate suddenly declared. "Wait, what's this? 'Nanoha uses Shadowbind on You.'? ...Uh oh..."

Nanoha clicked again and Fate sighed.

"Now you know how I feel," Vita grumbled. "Hmm, but maybe I'll get you instead, Hayate! Feel the wrath of my hammer!"

"You wouldn't really attack your mistress, would you, Vita?" Hayate pleaded in fear.

Vita sighed. "No, I guess not. I'm sorry... HEY! You blasted me!"

Hayate giggled. "Too easy."

"Testarossa is my opponent, Nanoha," Signum informed the other woman succinctly. "I must defeat her to satisfy my honor and... NANOHA!"

The Ranger-playing woman tried to keep her head down.

"Guys?" Arisa called. "Please try out some of the other things like quests."

Yuuno grit his teeth. "I WOULD if I could ever kill this deer-DAMN IT! Ran out of MP!"

"You got it down to half life at least," Suzuka comforted him.

"Alright, I say we all gang up on Nanoha; who is with me?" Fate declared, to a chorus of agreement.

Nanoha sweated. "Uh oh."

"I see her, she's in the Goblin Plateau!" Vita declared. "Get her!"

"Goblin Plateau?" Hayate wondered aloud. "I can help with that."

Signum tried to stop her. "No, Hayate, WAIT!"

There were a chorus of groans, Nanoha included among them, while Hayate apologized in a tone that didn't really indicate she was sorry at all.

"Okay, how about a truce and we all go try some of those quests?" Nanoha offered.

"Fine with me," Yuuno spouted darkly.

"I think all the quest-givers are in this town and..." Signum started to say, then trailed off. "Huh? They are all dead."

"Hmmm, that's odd," Arisa stated. "Suzuka, check over the logs."

The purple-haired girl tapped away at her keyboard, then looked up afer a minute. "According to this, Shamal killed them all."

Everyone raised their heads from their screens to stare at her.

The Belkan doctor blushed. "I-I couldn't help it! After I drained the first one, I just couldn't stop..."

Xx~~*~~xX

Author's notes:

I've played a few MMOs, and often thought about what classes the Nanoha cast would play. And then had this image of Nanoha turning into a griefer as she repeatedly picked off people at range... which leads me to this...

Xx~~*~~xX

Bonus Ending:

"Yes, mom, I think we're getting some... interesting data," Arisa said into her cell phone, trying to ignore the shouting going on in the MMO testing room.

"Sounds good, your father will be happy, as he's had high hopes for this project," her mother replied on the other end. "What kind of initial feedback are you getting so far, that I can pass along?"

Arisa briefly flipped through the surveys that she had her friends fill out, most of which sid the same things, and sweated. "Um, apparently Rangers and Mages are overpowered..."


End file.
